5ECrEt 0f mE

such a month long din write anything at here ady..
nov is a bad month 4 me as i had my sem 1 final exam.. i noe i did very bad in dis exam n im ready 2 fail it.. dis was d 1st time 4 me 2 write nothong in d answer sheat.. realy die ady..
i gt 3 weks of holidays n nw i hv spent 2 weks for my chess glub activity..
although i hv short time 2 rest bt i enjoy my activity so much..
i wil become a liason tomolo n take care of a team members from far eastern university, philipinnes.. perhaps my partner n me can take a good care of them n hv an un4getable wek..
erm, hv u watched b4? do u think my face gt similiar wit d main character in it, alice? my senior here said im looked like alice??!izit? haha...

my 1st exam at um wil arrive soon.. next wek is my study wek n then i wil face d exam..
dunoe y i feel so stress dis time?? i haven felt dis b4.. mayb bcs of my cousemates.. all of them r so hardworking n so stress.. no1 r taking d exam easy bt al r becoming so terrible..
every1 seem like complete wit each others..
4 those who cant catch up d studies,they feel so stress n even ignore d hardworking coursemates.. its reali tension seeing dis ppl.. hw wil i survive 4 d next 5 yrs??
bt i am who i am..i won compare wit them n i jus folo my own steps..
i dun wan 2 b crazy bcs of d exam..

exam is coming 2 weeeks later. every1 is getting stress n stress. no more funny joking; no more chating; no more outing.. wat remain is d serious facial expression of each others..
4 wat all of them take it so serious??
some cant sleep at nite; some cant eat well; n some even cant 'do big business' well..
hw crazy r those ppl la..
study hard every day ady n still say cant finish al d study.. oh my god.. if u al cant finish, hw bout d ppl like me tat jus start study nw??
im realy sick of them..
mayb i wil go my grandma house during d study wek.. run away from dis ppl n release my tension here...

went out 2 red box at low yat plaza dis evening.. 12 of us had a great n happy time there..
v sang 4 several hours ther n had a buffer there.. all of us grabbed d oppourtunity 2 eat a lots.. sushi,salad, fried mee, fried rice, chicken,fish,prawn, ice cream, cake, desserts n so on.. all r so delicious n v ate non stop d whole nite.. it costed each person RM20 for 5 hours n a buffer.. quite ok la d price.. next time mayb when u free oso can ask me 2 karaoke o.. haha..
after k time v went 2 time square n wished 2 watch <> bt d tickets had sold out.. on d way 2 time square,i met chicken (jie yun) wit her bf there.. its so surprised n shocked when she saw me.. hihi..

october.. only last 41 days then my exam is coming..
bt since nw,i nt yet start reading anything.. jus listen d lecture during class n do nothing on studies.. hw can i b like dis de???
i hope 2 study nw bt where is my study mood?
pls come bec 2 me n if nt it may b a big trouble 4 me..
anatomy...biochemistry... physiology... oral biology.........
oh,its too much 4 me...i hv 2 memoralise all dis note..
hw can my little brain afford 4 it??
haiz....

ermm,mayb u might gt confuess when u finish reading my last post..
actually i 4got 2 make a relation 4 my title n d article la..
y i named it as ??
when d guy dun hv accompany then he wil only think of u n find u chating,n he wont find u when he is busy or when he is wit his fren...hw wil u feel?
it seem like i treat myself as a consolation gift.. cant gt d 1st prize then jus accept d consolation gift 2 console myself..am i satisfy wit dis?
im nt sure...wat im sure is i wil immediately go out once receiving a call from him... no matter wat am i doing on tat time..
am i a stupid girl?

i reali cant control my heart n action .. a few days v din contact n im thinking 2 cut it off..
bt y jus a call 2 drink may hold bec d almost fly off de kite??
heart is reali an uncontrolled organ...
d most u wish 2 4get d person,d most ur heart wil think bout him..
y v must suffer dis then v can meet our mr,right?
4 wat u must influence me 2 folo u le?
4 wat d heart is stil thinking off u le?
4 wat am i waiting 4 le?